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Everything to Me
© 1993 Music by David Yazbek Lyrics by Sean Altman & David Yazbek |
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I can ride the One up to Yonkers Sun on a yacht on the Yangtze I can feel the breeze off the Mississippi You only mean everything to me Spinning over Chad in a chopper Boogie woogie in a blimp over Bombay Gonna take a bateau-bus through the gulf to Yucatán You only mean everything to me I could thumb around Thargomindah in the middle of the winter (Marsupials bedding down) Do the Louvre in a minute, get a poster in the gift shop (Mona Lisa gets shrunken down) Take a suite in Topeka with spiders on the ceiling I never know what you're feeling What poisonous fruit you're peeling What miracle cure you've found I could ride into Cannes in a tux on a Clydesdale Bareback on a pack mule to Greece I could walk a high wire through the World Trade towers You only mean everything to me Gonna saddle up a manatee and dive for gefiltes (Funny white blob gonna drown) Parachute into paranoia with your mamma's dishes (You better go underground) Hang-glide on the Hudson with nothing but an aspirin You better know what I'm feeling What dinosaur's doing your dealing What kind of hog's in your ground Rip the conch from the shell do the junkanoo party in Bahama (Back to back) And they were singing (back to back) They said it was nothing (yeah) but a Zombie Jamboree Gonna give a Bronx cheer with an eggcream mustache You only mean everything to me So give a hot towel to a humble visitor You only mean everything to me | ||
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Falling Over You
© 1994 Sean Altman & Billy Straus |
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I made up my mind, ain't wasting no
more time I made up my mind, I'm falling over you I been playing schoolboy, dishing funny schoolboy games (Got to run and hide, he got to run and hide) But I been to the river, seen water turn to sweet red wine (You opened up your eyes, you opened up your eyes) Now I throw the book at yesterday, and I got just one thing to say Hey hey hey I made up my mind, ain't wasting no more time And I made up my mind, I'm falling over you Mighta bust my world, just faking my way through But I made up my mind, I'm falling over you Seven busy mornings, and Noah had himself an ark (It ain't done overnight, it ain't done overnight) But I been working dizzy, gonna find the funky fruit by dark (You know you did it right, he up and did it right) Now I burn the book of yesterday, and I got just one thing to say Hey hey hey Chorus Listen to me babe, my tale's a bitter, twisted, sorry tale... Like a baby, I was a selfish thing Your bee was buzzing, girl, and I dig the pleasure sting My brain is buggin', My lips the first in line Feed me your loving so fine Hey hey hey Chorus | ||
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Fan
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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Hey baby hey I'm your biggest
fan I wanna show you what it's like - come take my hand baby Hey baby hey baby I'm your fan I wanna show you what it's like to live I'm not the guy to wiz in the gulf stream wind I ain't the man I want you to see, no baby Don't even try to dig where the sun don't grin There's shadows'll make you freeze, but you say Chorus I'm not the rocket you lock on your tv screen You ain't the jane at Tarzan's knees, no baby You think combined we're riding to sunset dreams Go bareback shake off the fleas, and you say Chorus We'll make love on the ocean floor You, me & the fishies will fly But rise too fast & the bends will core your groaning heart dry I'm not a cretin, don't pity my cheatin' ways You're not the bitch you want me to see, no baby If we can sweeten the kitty, the love pot's raised To a fliptop twister degree, we're shoutin' Chorus |
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Far Away
© 1998 Sean Altman |
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I'm dizzy tired but the devil's in the bed There's just too many chameleons changing 'round my head & you go on dreamin' with a Pollyanna pain Cut loose 'cept one little hurdle - the chains are in your brain. Hey... You're just so far away & a bit too sentimental You're so far away, there ain't a man fulfill your dreams You're so far away, far away, far away... from our home... I read the photographs & every movie frame Might be my memory's lyin' or maybe I'm insane But there's you & me in a field & the sun is lovin' us How can I look & see Heaven when all you see is dust? Hey... You're just so far away & a bit too sentimental You're so far away, there ain't a man can breathe your steam You're so far away, far away, far away... from our home... Now you're gone with a map of your life - color it in to match your season I'll be home with a map of a wife - color it in to look like you Now you teethe on a ring of grief, and you hock your faith for treason There's a mole inside your soul & it's breaking you down from the inside out, yeah breaking you down You're just so far away & a bit too sentimental You're so far away, there ain't a man can calm your scream You're so far away, far away, far away... from our home... from our home... |
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Fliptop Twister
© 1992 Sean Altman |
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Fliptop twister of love We met in Vegas, I tore my best red suit And Lady Luck had just slapped my face The lanky croupier was dealing on you hard I thought that maybe I could be your ace Then like a slingshot right in the butt of Fate We're trading winkers and counting beans We hit the window and all night long we bounced Upon a mattress full of paper greens Ah, the morning sun was an egg yolk we'd never seen We're chugging Cokes like we're sipping champagne I got a steak on my eye, but don't you ever cry; I'll make you happy as a duck someday I was a sucker for the pick-up The stick-up, and every saucy hiccup The foam-mouthed mongrel of love Ain't nothing worse in my brain than when I feel too sane And how I wish I'm gonna find my home. I think it suits me -- Australian ostrich boots I think it suits you -- a diamond ring I think it suited the man who said so much so fast To steal away with every last damn thing Ah, the morning sun was an eyeball we'd never seen But there was red in the sclera of love We pulled the one-armed bandits and we ate our sandwiches Of knuckles in a black leather glove You were a runner for the mix-up The fix-up, and getting boys' wicks up A lift-off locust of love Ain't nothing worse in your mind than when you're feeling fine And now I think I've finally found my home, yes, sir! And now I think I've finally found my home. Now it's amazing how you've become my Mom Crazy, wacky how I'm my Pop I've still got raspberry seeds between my teeth And now I'm slurping from a bowl of slop The funky monkey still flips his chips about I guess it's just in my genes to roam So like a buckshot right in the butt of Fate I think I wish I'm never going home. No sir! I think I wish I'm never going home.. I was a junkie for the break-up The make-up, and every little shake-up The flip-top twister of love Ain't nothing worse in my mind than when I'm feeling fine And now I wish I'm never going home. |
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Follow Me to Heaven © 1994 Sean Altman |
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Follow me to heaven and I'll meet
you, I'll meet you... Yeah I, I put the garbage in your head - I'm a genuine one of a kind I put the madsong in your mind, yeah I Knocked the teeth right from your baby mouth And delivered a set to grind, if you follow me, yeah Follow me to heaven and I'll meet you on the hell side of the clouds There'll be goblins they won't hurt you, but they'll nurse you smiling Follow me to heaven and I'll treat you to a private hell of doubt If you follow me, yeah, yeah Keep your eye on the swinging pocket watch, yeah you follow the bouncing ball I put the mantra in your mind, yeah I I tucked an earwig 'tween your cheek and gum With a nudge and a wink you're mine, and you follow me, yeah Follow me to heaven and I'll meet you on the hell side of the clouds There'll be barbers, they won't cut you, but they'll pluck you shiny Follow me to heaven and I'll greet you with a laundry list of vows If you follow me, yeah, yeah You crouch to run but you're backward from the get-go Let that doggy of your mind go foul the footpath of your soul You wade through the crud with Olympic form and trouper grin Scarf every weed and woodchip in my way that I may waltz above the fray I put the garbage in your head - I can twist your fate on a dime I put the phantom in your mind, yeah I I wound you up to unwind in the nick of time While I'm revelling in my prime, and you follow me, yeah Follow me to heaven and I'll meet you on the hell side of the clouds There'll be farmers they won't eat you, but they'll milk you sour Follow me to heaven and I'll treat you to an underworld of doubt If you follow me, yeah yeah |
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For The Love
© 1994 Sean Altman |
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For the better, for the
worse Holed up, got my knees up, tightly curled up, I'm a fetal man She gave up, said "Your time's up," & now every little thing I got is gone Find out how something strange Belching bile from above Find out why some things change For the better, for the worse, for the love I'm no major thinker, but I'm thinkin' I been had & good I took hook line and sinker, then you toss me back and half my guts are gone Find out how something strange Hawking hell from above Find out why some things change For the better, for the worse, for the love Find out, is your heart pumping any younger Will the scar tissue dike up every dam? (dike it good) Find out, is your cloud coughing any thunder Will the devil's mouth foam when they carry you home? Vengeance could be heaven, spittin' venom, I'm a viper man But lovin' runs my engine, & another love's the best revenge of all Find out how something strange Pry the peace from the dove Find out why some things change For the better, for the worse, for the love |
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Hanukah With Monica
© 1998 Sean Altman & Rob Tannenbaum |
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The underwear she wore was so erotica She liked to serve 'cause she was patriotica She put that age-old myth to bed - 'bout Jewish girls not giving head One thing she was not was underfed He likes jazz, but she likes electronica He plays sax, but she toots his harmonica & every day she's in the news is one more bad day for the Jews How long must we suffer through the blues 'Cause now it's Hanukah with Monica It all seems so moronica Hey you nosy paparazzi - let my people go eat matzi Hanukah with Monica - It's so tragecomica Stuffed her face with rugelach She gave his thing a tugelach He wagged his finger, said it's just platonica While she drank him like a gin & tonica She put the head in head of state Tell Yasser Arafat to wait It's secret service while you legislate And now it's Hanukah with Monica Light up your Cubanica Eight whole days of goin' nuts - on the presidential putz It's Hanukah with Monica - this plague is so bubonica 'tis the season to be noshin' - on big Bubba's hamentashen Oh oval office dreidel - she made it hard as clay On presidential kneepads - he just sees her beret.... Yes it's Hanukah with Monica - this condition's chronica We all want to dance the hora - but she blew the whole menorah Careful don't you make a mess - "That's Manischewitz on my dress" Hanukah with Monica - this ends our symphonica A Hanukind of Monikind of year.... | ||
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Hazel Eyes (I'm your Baby)
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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Hazel eyes, never seen you cry And I don't even know your middle name or can this bird fly Beauty lies, & beauty terrifies me For how can anyone so beautiful not say goobye I'm your baby (your babe) I'm your baby (your babe) I'm your baby & I want you for mine! Are you divine, or maybe it's the wine I can't see past my heart & that scarred-up thing gets bigger each time Help me find the tatter in the vine please Before I Tarzan down again crazy for some hopeless valentine chorus I dream you open up Your lips are feeding me full of love Then you just choke it off & I tumble dry & shrink back down to size... But maybe hazel eyes I see her devil face but you're just an angel disguise chorus |
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Home in a Cage
unpublished work © 1997 Sean Altman |
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Your gaze is everywhere but my
face What am I the lone convicted male in the whole infected jail? And another thing... Your smile will make a cripple crawl a mile And when he's bound to break his record time... You steal the finish line I'll carry you home in a cage Oh babe, I know it's tough - my love is rough But you need discipline to soften up your snake skin To make you feel the shame a human feels When her lover's hope she peels like cellophane You're wise to everything but my guise I'll make you feel the blowing whisper calm When a lover's faith is gone |
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Hot Jewish Chicks
© 2001 Sean Altman & Rob Tannenbaum |
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There's Roxy looking Foxy in a mink There's Becky Tishman giving me a wink Esther's nose and teeth are false But dig those silicone matzoh balls Check out all the hot Jewish chicks There's Francy fancy-shmancy with a wig She'll swallow anything but shrimp or pig Ida bleaches her moustache It gave my brother Saul a rash We're diggin' all the hot Jewish chicks Emily got knocked up through a sheet I'd like to mix her milk with my meat (ooh...sweet) Just look at all this cleavage And not one crucifix We're diggin' all the hot Jewish chicks Sarah likes to cook and read the Torah But watch her dance -- she puts the "whore" in hora Tessie does a wicked waltz I got too close and shot my schmaltz Check out all the hot Jewish chicks Doris was a dog -- oof -- oh so nasty Now she looks fine -- hmm -- rhinoplasty Becky Greenberg makes me drool I did her in the can at shul We're diggin' all the hot Jewish chicks Rose won't tell her age, but here's a hint She fact-checked the Old Testament We up and joined Hadassah So we could get a fix Of diggin' all the hot Jewish chicks June likes to get spanked & raise a ruckus I did her in the can at shul at Sukkos -- in the tuchis They light our Shabbos candles And then they wet our wicks We dig 'em 'cause they're hot And shiksa's what they're not We're diggin' all the hot Jewish chicks | ||
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How Not To Be In Love With You
© 2001 Sean Altman & Michelle Albano |
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Your precious eyes are far away And not as bright as yesterday I know we're through - you've told me so I know the rules, but I don't know How not to be in love... How not to be in love with you I'm trying hard to understand [Just what I am, if not your man] Why I'm your friend, but not your man Our promises of long ago Mean nothing now, still I don't know How not to be in love... How not to be in love with you I'll try to move on Maybe I'll find somebody new But I'll never find another you Don't even try to comfort me I'm too far gone - just let me be I know we're through - you've told me so But one thing's true, I'll never know How not to be in love... How not to be in love with you |
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