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Are You A Man?
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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"Are you a man?" -- that's what you ask As if I'm wearing a man mask What's a man? Won't you explain Just what you're thinking inside your brain Does he have money lining his pockets? Is he decisive -- moves like a rocket? Knows what he wants and know how to earn it Or is he just like everybody else's man -- A walking talking thinking gland? What's a man? Where does he live? In a mansion or in a crib? What does he live on -- beefsteak & fries? Or mother's milk and goo-goo eyes? Carries your picture inside a locket He'd starve in the gutter before he would hock it Hands like a soldier and face like a sinner Or is he just like a picture in a magazine -- Tight belly, white briefs, squeaky clean? Well there's a big lipstick blotch where my face used to be A crop-dusting haze of Kewpie-doll crazy My biceps exploding with battle scenes A stone-munching, pure-bred, butt-crunching bone-head Bare-chested, greased up and pumping and I'm a man -- I'm not your father. I'm not your preacher, I ain't your brother I'm not your hero -- don't make me laugh. You want a painting, but I'm a photograph I don't have money lining my pockets And I've got a temper explodes like a rocket I'm probably addicted to some things I don't know Oh I'm a stumbling, stuttering, foul-mouth fool A stick-figure, mannequin, dime-store tool I'm a man -- I got my problems. I got my puzzles -- I try to solve 'em Ah, but I'm doing the best that I can 'Cause I'm not super... I'm just a man |
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Baby Go Bye Bye
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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Baby Go bye bye -- my baby make me cry go Baby go bye bye bye -- beep beep Under my bed a dirty girly mag a psychobabble paperback I give my money on a sofa to professionals, they gimme a wack I wanna binge I wanna purge & indescriminately breed I wanna bleed I wanna smoke up any weed I wanna breathe in every dirty doggy minute of my muddy brown misery Baby go bye bye bye, is every lovin' a lie lie lie Make me wonder... bye...baby bye bye... Beautiful birdy body but her bodice couldn't keep her heart from migrating south A poet's sense o'time, an artist's eye for coloring the easy way out How did she do it? A Houdini. I'm a'doubting everything I ever thought about a pretty girl who begged me for my ring I'm on the operating table aint no anaesthetic in my I.V. Baby go bye bye bye, is every lovin' a lie lie lie Make me wander by...baby bye bye (tribal chanting in a pigsty) Firecracker in an anthill, duck & cover, better run Armageddon, Hellzapoppin, loaded up & granny get your gun Ain't no messiah thats meshugge what we got is muck & mire In the name of what you broke it up & made us into liars? Everybody gather wood we're burning vows in the bonfire Baby go bye bye bye, is every lovin' a lie lie lie Make me wander by...baby bye bye |
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Back to Chicago
© 1994 Sean Altman |
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I've known the road, far much too long You know a hotel's just not a home But now I'm going back, said I'm going back to Chicago I've been to Broadway, I made the rounds I've had my taste of fame in the crowds But now I'm going back, said I'm going back to Chicago Will anyone remember me? It feels so long, it wasn't so long ago I'm gonna stand on the corner and sing "I'm finally home!" I've been to Reno, to Rome and Iraq But in my heart there's just something they lack So now I'm going back, said I'm going back to Chicago... Windy City! I wonder if anybody remember me? It wasn't so long, but it was so long ago I'm going down to the South Side and scream "Hey everybody, I'm home!" I've been to Lima, to Chad and L.A. Y'know the feeling just ain't the same So I'm going back, said I'm going back I've got to get myself back, yes I do, maybe I'll take a plane 'Cause I got to get back, said I'm going back to my home... Chicago! |
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Beautiful Liar
unpublished work © 1998 Sean Altman & Noel Cohen |
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There goes my blushing bride So much for Mrs. Right You kissed that myth goodbye Hip hip hooray for a feminist twist A gender switch - Don Juan's a bitch, you liar A beautiful liar. A beautiful liar, liar. You liar lie... I guess I should be thrilled Jacked off by such a Jill Undone with charm & skill But I'm such a vulgar piece of dreck That all I wanna do is wring your neck, you liar A beautiful liar. A beautiful liar, liar. You liar lie... Forked tongue, cloven hoof, cleft palate belle Your next stop's Hell, where everyone smells a liar A beautiful liar. A beautiful liar, liar. You liar lie... |
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Be My Friend
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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I smell you in the kitchen, waxing your broom for witchin' Polish your thumb for hitchin' hikin' boots are made for walkin' I said come on now Missy, New York ain't Mississippi Don't play no kissy kissy, throw it down and pitch your penny Be my friend, then maybe be my lover, won'tcha Be my friend, be my friend 'til the end (why don'tcha) Be my friend, cause I don't need no other won'tcha Be my, be my friend (be my friend) oh baby I... Why won't you talk my lingo? Your card is full, shout "Bingo!" Don't need no pink flamingo, looking good but hibernating I'm bleeding, broke and bare, hacked off my hippie hair The ultimate team player, friend to man and nature won'tcha Chorus I'II ladder up your window, I'II walk you home from school I'II be your soda jerk & break your daddy's golden rule There ain't nobody better, tuckin' you in at night You'll wear my scarlet letter - don't fight, don't bite just hold tight...all night! My crazy impulsiveness, superduperlativeness Manic stick-to-it-iveness - Heed it or beware! Why don'tcha Chorus |
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The Best Boyfriend In The World
© 2001 Sean Altman & P.J. Lequerica |
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No lying, I'm trying to be the perfect guy The best boyfriend in the world I caught you looking at me with a suspicious face I guess my reputation's followed me to this place Believe me - I'm not what they say Won't hurt you that way, no I promise I would prove it to you every day If you were my girl I'd be the best boyfriend in the world I'd treat you right Don't believe what you heard I want you, so just say the word Make me the best boyfriend in the world You could have any boy so why should you run with me? The man inside of me is someone you might not see Believe me - the face that you know Well it's all just for show, yeah And if you let me love you I won't let you go chorus No lying, I'm trying to be the perfect guy Babe if you'll be mine I'll keep you satisfied chorus |
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Capital
© 1993 Sean Altman |
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Albany, Atlanta, Tallahassee, Oklahoma City Trenton, Nashville, Concord, Dover, Little Rock, Des Moines Sacramento, Olympia, Montpelier, Jackson, Carson City Juneau, Denver, Raleigh, Austin, Boston! Capital! Just one city in every state Where the governor and legislators stay up late Got the name, got the fame, the political weight, hey! Capital! Providence, Topeka, Santa Fe, Indi(anapolis), Annapolis St. Paul, Jefferson City, Honolulu, Baton Rouge Harrisburg, Columbia, Augusta, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Salem Madison, Cheyenne, I'm thinkin' Lincoln! Capital! Just one city in every state Where the shiny politicians contemplate our fate Taking aim, making claims in the friendly debate, hey! Capital! Bismarck, Boise, Springfield Frankfort, Richmond, Columbus Charleston, Helena, Capital Lansing, Hartford, Montgomery! Just one city in every state Turn the political machine on, watch it percolate Lots of Honest Abes kissing babes, making each state great! Capital! Just one city... Capital! (Oh, no! Oh, no! Pierre! Pierre! We forgot Pierre!) |
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Carmen's Song
© 1994 Sean Altman & David Yazbek |
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Nashville to Norway Bonaire to Zimbabwe Chicago to Pittsburgh to Philly and back again Naples to Brussels Berlin to Belize Indonesia Topeka Botswana to Thailand Milan via Amsterdam Mali to Bali The Netherlands Scotland to Pakistan New York to Omaha Luxembourg Galveston Freeport to Minsk Where in the world is the Coliseum? Who took the Sphinx and Cleopatra's needle? Who got the Guggenheim Museum? I don't see 'em, and where's the German soccer team? She took the bang out of Krakatoa She stole the keys from Beethoven's piano Took a Little Italy and then Samoa I got to show her, she can't stoop any lower Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Boston to Burma, Bath to Oswego We've got to find her, got to confine her Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Over in Dover the cliffs are history She bagged the checkered flag - the Indy hasn't stopped yet Nobody stops her con artistry She's a mystery, she never even calls her sister She took the lean from the Tower of Pisa Got off the plane, her eardrums haven't popped yet Sailed to Paris on a bogus visa Then just to tease her, she copped the smile from Mona Lisa Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Grabbed Trinidad then hijacked Tobago We've got to jail her, got to derail her Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Greg, come on, she's nothin' but a scammer, stick that mischievious heel in the slammer, catch the crook, no more lame excuses, lock that lady in jail! Nashville to Norway Bonaire to Zimbabwe Chicago to Pittsburgh to Philly and back again Naples to Brussels Berlin to Belize Indonesia Topeka Botswana to Thailand Milan via Amsterdam Mali to Bali The Netherlands Scotland to Pakistan New York to Omaha Luxembourg Galveston Freeport to Lebanon Belgium El Salvador Poland Morocco Manhattan to Ireland Hungary Cambodia Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Brooklyn to Chad, Brunei to Bombay go We can't forgive her, send her up the river Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? There's California, where did L.A. go It ain't okey dokey 'til she's in the pokey Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Cleveland to Bronx, Taiwan to St. Tropez go Who's gonna fool her, throw her in the cooler Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Got lotsa capers on her resumé go We're in the poor house 'til she's in the big house Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? She'll yank the stars right from the Milky Way go Well never spare her, we've got to snare her Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? She'll pluck the lilies offa your Monet go We'll be disppointed, til she's in the joint, HEY! Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? |
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Change My World
© 1994 Sean Altman & Billy Straus |
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Y'gonna change my world Y'gonna heal my world Y'gonna feel my world and make it all a little better And every lung sings true And every tongue speaks kind And every soul brings good to slice a bigger piece of mind You suppose there's nothing much a meager man can do Bare his hairy chest & hold his morning breath, stick his thumbs into the screws Curse the dusty filibusterers in riot gear While he bellows like a cranky bull to anyone who'll hear Y'gonna change my world Y'gonna raise that cain 'Til ever fridge busts full and every Tarzan loves a Jane Squelch the patter of the bullies spreading pulpit cheer Tweak the beard of any walk-the-planking, baby-spanking crusty buccaneer Rally all the Pollyannas in the atmosphere Holding hands & clicking heels and watch the evil disappear We'll make it disappear! We'll never never ever ever fear! Y'gonna change my world Y'gonna green my world Y'gonna clean my world and make it shine a little better And every chord rings true And everyeye color blind And every soul finds good to slice a bigger peace of mind |
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Climb On
unpublished work © 1998 Sean Altman & Ivy Markaity |
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Climb on...we'll break into a terminal dawn Hang on...this rocket's been in orbit too long If you wait for clues, you kill the story If you hold your breath, you blow the glory, & whoa Climb on...Your pocket's have been empty too long Hang on...Look down, bang, and you're gone The more you strain, it grips you tighter The more you weigh, the more you're lighter, & whoa A quiet din, come on, jump in, for the ride of your life Climb on...Next stop the milky beyond Hang on...Wade in the pearly chiffon Your ticket's paid, your suit is borrowed & yesterday's your next tomorrow, & whoa... |
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Come My Way
© 1995 Sean Altman |
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Come my way into the garden home and melt your butter Everything forgiven, every bug is livin' love, come my way... If you're lost I will find you with a vision knows your fear And if you break I will bind you with my arms If you hurt I will heal you If you stray I will reel you in and drive away the demons did you harm Come my way, I'll carry you in from the cold Come my way, I promise I'll lead you back home If you're down I'll convert you with a missionary zeal And guard your heart with a mercenary cool And if you're drained I will fill you up with my love until you know The glory of an other-worldly fool Come my way, I'm crushing you diamonds from coal Come my way, I'm turning your tin dreams to gold Come my way into the garden home and draw your butter Everything forgiven, every dove is livin' love, come my way... Gift o' the gab but the Bible warns o' the bad taste in my mouth o' talkin' in tongues Blow to the head at the bar-room brawl gonna leave me peelin' myself right off the wall Bow to the bobbin'-headed icon bleed my mind down my brain to a crawl And if you come, I will dream you to imaginary high And if you hope, you'll awake to find it real life But if you run I will spurn you, if you turn love will burn you And you'll never know the story of these arms Come my way, I'm blooming you roses from weeds Come my way, I'm grooming me up from the seeds Come my way into the garden home and drink your butter Everything forgiven, every lug is livin' love, come my way... |
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Daisy Simone
© 1997 Sean Altman |
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Daisy, Daisy, plenty of room in my garden Daisy is a nightly dancer, and at the club she's called Simone Where in occasional fits of lonely, I got occasion to make my home She got the Lady Godiva red hair, and epidermis so criminally pert And I'm a button-nosed bumbling Boy Scout, my code of honor done turned to dirt And when she flings her head her sweat drops strafe the back row Extinguishing the burning issues of the day - look out below, won't you tell me Daisy, Daisy, can I call you Simone? Can I ring you up & call you out & chauffeur you home? Would you terribly mind if a butterfly bust out his cocoon? Daisy, Daisy, plenty of room in my garden Daisy does a thing to Zeppelin, will make the pain drain from your soul Maybe her grand-daddy was a fireman, taught her the tricks on the silver pole And if you think you're special, blink - she's gone to the next one Extinguishing your drunken dream (it ain't the money but the fun), won't you tell me Daisy, Daisy, can I call you Simone? Can a caballero suck the marrow, lips to the bone? Would you terribly mind one of my kind rise up from the tomb? Daisy, Daisy, plenty of room in my garden It's an August night and all the fans are packing heat Yeah the buck$ are flying bullets straight to the garter And she purrs my way and my chin's upon her feet But my lonely loser heart's all I've got to barter And if you think you're Don Quixote and she's ripe for rescue Extinguishing your wishful thinking is the best you'll ever do - she don't want you! Daisy, Daisy, can I call you Simone? Will you drone with me or bee the queen of the honeycomb? Would you terribly mind if the undersigned holed up in your room? Daisy, Daisy, plenty of room in my garden...for you... |
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Dandelion
© 2002 Sean Altman |
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Dandelion lures the bee from the hive But lets no stinger lance her I'm going, going, going 'round... Going, going, going... Dandelion lays her eggs in your mind They multiply like cancer They growing, growing, growing now... Growing, growing, growing... Dandelion! I'll weed you out & mulch you (fine) Dandelion, I'll make you mine Oh my Dandelion Dandelion cranes her neck to the light Her petals tan in fashion She going, going, going brown... Going, going, going... Dandelion your sun is so damned bright You carmelize my passion I'm going, going, going down... Going, going, going... |
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Dick About Me
© 2002 Sean Altman |
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A twist'll dim my light & I'll glow sweetly But screw me down too tight & I'll blow completely Whatever you know you think you see Well you don't know dick about me Whenever you blink I change my breed Well you don't know dick about me I peeled you from the shell & Heaven kissed me You deal me back to Hell, where no one missed me chorus I dredge you up, I gulp you down To wedge some pain back in this clown Forget me not, you don't know squat You don't know anything, anything... Favor me tonight & fear no warning Savor every bite 'cause I'm gone by morning chorus Whatever you know you think you see Well you don't know dick about me However you judge I change my plea Well you don't know dick about me |
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Dusty Valentine
words and music © 2001 Michael Mendyke and Sean Altman |
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it's been a while you're hazy but you're still good company do you smile at least as much as when you were with me your face appears in souvenirs forgotten in the sand a sorry shrine a former lifetime folded in my hand dusty valentine with the paper braided color faded nursery rhyme that i didn't mean to find and the perfect diction love inscription someone's words you signed your name to valentine never mine another time when tears appeared i kissed away your pain who was i to think that i could always do the same at lovers' games my heart became susceptible to theft this stupid proof of cupid's goof is all that i've got left |
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